Okayy, Im tired of having to feel sucky, grumpy, at lost & resah all the time. I juz realise tt sometimes ur being left behind on certain thngs. Fine! Im nt gonna be bothered. I tght we're homes' dude..Bt guess tts human nature, oh wells. So yesterday after collecting my 'O' lvl certs wf Hazwan & Sharon, we ctch 'Step Up 2' at Century Square..

Gah! I can't sleep last night..ws frequently tossing 180 degrees ard my bed. The heart's bleeding. Its like Im seraching fr smth wch Im nt sure wat myself. Maybe all these feelings emerged bcoz of my ego? I seem nt to take in the fact tt Im rejected by RP & am gonna be schooling at ITE! Time & time again I reminded myself tt, "Allah tahu apa yg baik bagimu. Mungkin awk rasa bende itu baik tapi sebenarnya ia tidak dan apa yg awk rase tk baik tapi sebernya baik. Sesungguhnya Allah selalu menguji org2 yg beriman". Been doing lots of spiritual cleansing & bertafakur. And the talk wf Ustaz Sufyan do help..Jazakallah Khairan. Maybe Allah wnts me to gt closer to HIM and tts why HE's testing me wf all the obsatacles..Wallhua'lam...

Reasons fr being sucky:

1. I feel tt its a fall frm grace..When reflected bck, I ws left wondering wats the pnt of all the scholarships tt I attained thruout my sec. life yr in, yr out?
2. Im constantly up there..among the top in lvl though maths hv been the weakest link thruout bt I managed to be 'up there
3. The Speech Day awards etc.
4. Didn't ever2 imagining myself in ITE..wth..pfft
5. Human Stigma..urgh
6. "Hanis, ur rslts nt bad at all.. why didn't u try gg MI?" my ans, simple. Im aware tt 'A' lvls t curriculum no lngr the same( as in nw tougher) distance-wise, its too far..afraid cannot cope so oh wells.
7. Kang Wei's In MI?! shocker..the guy wf crutches..
   

Reasons to be optimistic:

1. ITE is knw acknowledged by MM Lee Kuan Yew, himself
2. Dad's said tt no need to take private dip. coz I gt my frst choice at ITE..oh wells
3. An-Nadhah msque is sederet my campus..
4. There's a direct bus:53
5. Naq's gg to be in the same campus
6. Im in Higher Nitec and nt jz Nitec
7. My course of study is considered one of the bst in ITE
8. Study hard & be the cream of the crop..( Enter Poly strgt 2nd yr gt dip..)
   

Circa 25/2/08 conversation wf Ustazah Zanariah: yg penting cari ilmu selagi terdaya. tk kesahlah mane awk dpt nanti..yg pasti niat nk sambung belajar itu ade. wish u all the best..Allah Knows Best..

I'll soon know who really is a teman & siapa sebenarnya sahabat...